How to help a child who is anxious about the dentist - Part 2

In the first part of this blog we discussed finding a child-friendly dentist and how to help your child before an appointment.

Maybe you have a dental appointment approaching. How can both you and your dentist make things easier for your child during their visit?

How can the dentist help my child?

Treatment room at Small Bites

• Taking things one step at a time will help to build up confidence. It is usually best to start with a check-up and simple cleaning before moving onto other treatment.  
• Young children are not able to sit still or concentrate for long periods of time, so visits are best kept shorter or have breaks when needed.
• The dentist may introduce a "stop signal," like raising a hand, that can be used so that your child can let the dentist know if they are not comfortable or need a break.
• Distraction can be used to give your child something else to think about other than the dental treatment. For example, music, cartoons on a TV screen or simply chatting about something else.
• A good dentist will explain things in a way that your child can understand as they go along. Long explanations and words may be confusing for your child. It is best to have a separate chat with parents while the child plays it the waiting room if required.
• The dentist can first explain, and then demonstrate any tools or materials before using them. For example, an instrument can be used on the back of the hand or finger nail before it is used in the mouth so your child knows what it feels like. 
• Although the dentist should be friendly with your child they may need to use a sterner tone of voice if a child is not listening and following instructions much the same as a schoolteacher would.

Certificate of Bravery

• Positive Reinforcement - when a child behaves and cooperates well they should be rewarded with praise, stickers, a small gift or "bravery" certificate.

Should parents stay in the room for dental treatment?

This depends on your child's age and behaviour. Young children (below 4 years) tend to experience separation anxiety and therefore it is usually advised that parents stay in the room. 

Some children "play up" to their parents and behave better when they are not in the room. One solution for this is to allow the parent or carer to stay in the treatment room whilst the child behaves well, but ask them to go to the waiting room if the child is not listening and following instructions.  

How can I help my child during a dental visit?

• In the previous post we discussed the importance of staying positive and encouraging your child. 
• For young children, you may need to help support your child on your lap while that dentist checks their teeth as shown in the picture.

• If your child makes a fuss try to remain calm. Dentists who treat children regularly will have seen their share of tantrums and be prepared for this. Allow the dentist to guide you on how to best support you child.  
• Some children will "act up" at the dentist to try to avoid treatment. If they are immediately taken out of the treatment room they are more likely to do the same thing the next time. Instead it should be explained to the child what needs to be accomplished in that visit. If cooperation is difficult it is better to achieve a lesser goal than planned, for example, placing a temporary filling, than abandon treatment altogether.

It is better to use rewards after the treatment is over than to promise bribes before hand. 

Show your child how proud you are of them for each new achievement.

Finally - Prevention is better than cure

Although, with some help, the majority of children can learn to cope with (or maybe even enjoy!) visiting the dentist the goal should be to prevent the need for dental treatment as far as possible.

It's a great feeling to take your child for a check up and be told that there are no cavities!

Here are some tips for preventing dental decay and gum disease:

• Thorough tooth brushing twice a day, morning and night. For more brushing tips see this post (click for link).
• Rinsing out the mouth with water after eating.
• Eating a healthy diet and making snacks and drinks, between meals, sugar free as far as possible. 
• Dental sealants are a coating placed on the biting surface of the back molar teeth by a dentist. They protect the narrow pits and grooves of the tooth which can be prone to decay. See this post for more information (click for link).
• Regular check-ups not only get your child used to visiting the dentist but enable any early signs of dental disease to be spotted and prevented from progressing into a bigger problem.

How to help a child who is anxious about the dentist - Part 1

Do you dread taking your child to the dentist? 

Are you worried about how your child will behave? 

Do you put off visiting the dentist until your child has toothache?

Maybe you are anxious yourself and don't know how to help you child overcome their fears?

In this two part blog we will look at ways in which you can make visiting the dentist less stressful, and maybe even enjoyable for you and your child.

Children are not born with a fear of going to the dentist. A small child visiting the dentist for the first time will not know what to expect, apart from what they have picked up from their parents and others around them. Therefore, it is important to try to give your child a positive view of dental health. Depending on your child's age, you can discuss or show them the importance of teeth and looking after them in an appropriate way. They can be encouraged to view the dentist as someone who helps them look after their teeth.

If you are anxious yourself, or have had a bad experience in that past, try not to talk about this in front of your child and advise other family members and friends to do the same. 


A recent study showed that parents' attitudes towards dentistry are often passed on to their children. Children are often listening in on our conversations with others, even while we think they are playing or doing something else. They even pick up on anxieties that we do not speak about by our expressions. If you have fear of the dentist you may find this 4 part blog (click for link) helpful for advice on overcoming your own anxiety.

Finding a child friendly dentist

Of course, it is important to find a dentist who is good with children. Not all dentists are good at, or enjoy, working with children. Find a practice where the dentist and their support staff relate well to your child and work to gain their trust so that your child can feel comfortable with them. The environment is also important in putting your child at ease and the decor should be fun. The waiting area should have toys, books or some form of entertainment to make waiting easier. 

Ask around for recommendations from friends and family or look at reviews from other parents. You can ask dental practices about their experience and expertise in treating children. Pediatric Dentists (or Pedodontists) are specialists in children's dentistry and usually have 3 years further training in Pediatric Dentistry after dental school. If you are in Bangalore, Small Bites in Indiranagar provides exclusive dental care for children. Here, we believe that every child deserves a good start in life with the best preventive dental care.

How can I help my child at home before a visit?

• Try to schedule the appointment at the best time for your child. Small children especially do not do so well if they are tired and hungry. 
• If you or your child are anxious, try to choose a time when the dentist is less busy to minimise waiting and so that there will be more time to discuss any issues and concerns. Even if this means that you have to take time off work it may be worth it for a first visit.
• Be positive. If your child is anxious, listen and show them you understand their concerns but express confidence that they will be okay. 
• Do not use words or scare stories that may upset your child. Even if you say "it's not going to hurt" the main word that your child will hear is "hurt", even though this may not have been in their mind before. 
  
• For young children, you could "play dentist" at home. You and your child can take it in turns to "be the dentist" and check each others teeth. Also try using your child's favourite soft toy or a puppet and "check their teeth." You can buy small plastic mouth mirrors for this, or just use your toothbrush. 
• If your child has a sibling, cousin or friend who is good with the dentist it may be helpful to visit the dentist with them first.
• There are many good children's books and videos available which can help children to understand about going to the dentist.
• If your child has had a difficult time at the dentist in the past, ask them about their concerns. Discuss these with your dentist to find ways to help your child before the next appointment.
• If one parent is particularly anxious, it may be better for the other parent, or another close relative, to bring the child for their appointments.

Ideally, a child's first experience at the dentist should not be for treatment. If at all possible, try to take your child just to see the dental practice and meet the dentist, or at most have a quick check-up, before they have any problems. This will help them to feel comfortable with the environment. 

At Small Bites we also have children's activities (advertised on our Facebook page - click for link) held in the clinic. This is a chance for children to get used to the environment and have fun on a separate day from any appointments. 

If your child, already has pain or problems before they have visited the dentist, don't worry. A good dentist will aim to alleviate the pain at a first visit but do further treatment as your child increases in confidence and cooperation.

Regular visits for check-ups will help your child. It is much better if they do not need treatment every time they have an appointment.

In the second part we will discuss ways that you and your dentist can help your child during their visit and some tips for preventing dental problems.

Protecting our children from abuse - Part 3

In the first post in this series we discussed the importance of good communication with our children for giving safety guidelines and listening to their concerns. In the second, we looked at signs of potential abuse and what to do if you know, or suspect a child is being abused.

In this post we will discuss safety guidelines for various situations.

Staying safe while out and about

Starting to go outside without adult supervision is an important part of growing up and gaining independence. You will need to decide how and when to start giving your child more freedom based on their age and maturity. 

Children need challenges and responsibilities, but they also need adults to support, guide and step in when needed. Children under eight years old should not be left to play out of sight or near busy roads.


Talk with your child about the following:

• That they must always tell you where they are going, what they are doing and who they are with.
• Warn them never to go into dangerous areas such as construction sites.
• Discuss what to do and who to contact in an emergency.
• Talk about bullying and what they should do if they are being bullied.
• Not to talk to adults they don't know and never to go off with an adult - even if they know them - without telling you first.
• If someone makes them feel uncomfortable, worried or scared to talk to someone in authority eg. police, park keeper, watchman. (If there is no one available speak to an adult with a child, if possible).
• Come home as quickly and safely as possible or, if you are out, go to a friend or neighbour's house whenever they feel worried or scared.

Schools, daycare, clubs and activities

When our children are at daycare, school or other organised activities we want to make sure that they are safe and well looked after. 

• Get recommendations from friends and family on the best school or club for your child.
• Make sure that the facilities are clean and safe and staff are caring and well trained.
• Ask about the school or club's policies on child protection and health and safety. 
• Always discuss with your child what they have been doing each day and allow them to share any problems or concerns.
• Maintain good communication with the teacher or organizer. This will enable you to discuss your child's progress and development, as well as any concerns or problems.

Leaving your child home alone

Before deciding whether it is safe to leave your child, or children, home alone consider these important factors:

• The age and maturity of the child.
• The place where the child will be left.
• How long and how often the child will be left alone.
• Whether there are any other children present and their ages.

Babies and young children should not be left alone, even for short periods of time. If possible, find a trusted adult who can look after your child while you are away.

If you do leave an older child alone make sure they are happy and confident about the arrangements. A child under 16 years old should never be left overnight.

Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Talk to your child about keeping safe at home and point out potential dangers.
• Put obvious dangers (eg. medicines, matches) out of child's reach.
• Leave a contact phone number and be available to answer it immediately.
• Give numbers of other trusted people they can contact if needed.
• Give clear instructions about what to do in an emergency and phone numbers for emergency services.
• Tell them not to answer the door to strangers.
• If they answer the phone, tell them to say mum and dad are busy (not out) and take the person's name and number.
• Tell your child when you will be back and make sure you are back on time.
• Talk with your child after you return home to discuss and problems or uncertainties.

On-line Safety

As computer, mobile and internet technology has progressed at a rapid pace over the last decade, our children often know more than we do. They may go on-line to connect with friends, make new ones, to browse the internet for information, chat with others and play games. The internet can be a very useful source of information. However, most children and many parents are unaware of potential dangers of being online.

The risks and dangers of being online:

• Exposure to pornography, violent games and videos and other inappropriate content
• Ignoring Age restrictions
• Cyber bullying
• Friending or communicating with people they don't know
• Sharing personal information
• Grooming and sexual abuse
• Addiction to computer games
• Gambling or running up debts

Guidelines for using the internet safely:

• Discuss with your child about the benefits and dangers of using the internet.
• Set rules and agree boundaries - this will depend upon your child's age and what you feel is appropriate.
• Explain that internet access is a privilege which can be taken away (by confiscating computers, smartphone etc.) if the rules are broken. 
• Know which websites your child is using and who they are talking to online.
• Explain that they should not share personal information online, and never accept friend request from someone they do not know.
• Limit the time your children can spend online and the material or websites they can access. 
• It is best to have the computer in a family area, so that you can monitor usage. If children and teenagers have an internet connect computer in their bedroom, or a smart phone they can go online anytime day or night, unsupervised.
• Use parental and privacy controls. These can be activated from the control panel of the computer or other device, on certain websites, or from a software package (some are free). Click here for more information on parental controls.
• No tool is 100% effective and these should not replace conversations with your child.
• Encourage your child to talk to you if they are concerned about anything they have seen, or communication they have received, on the internet.

Protecting our children from abuse - Part 1

In this blog, we are going to cover a non-dental issue, because it is one that is important for us all to be aware of.


It is an issue which people do not like to discuss or even think about, but child abuse is alarmingly common in India and around the world.  As adults, we have a responsibility to protect not just our own, but all children from abuse. 



What is child abuse?
Child abuse is the term used when an adult, or another child, harms a young person under the age of 18. There are many types of abuse -  physical, emotional, sexual, neglect and specific offences such as child trafficking.

In this article we will concentrate on child sexual abuse (CSA), but many of the principles can also be used to protect children from other forms of abuse. 

How common is child sexual abuse in India?
Children from all social classes and backgrounds are susceptible to abuse. It is impossible to know the true incidence of CSA as the vast majority of those abused do not tell anyone. Social stigma in Indian society often prevents people from coming out in the open and talking about abuse. 

A goverment study published in 2007 (http://wcd.nic.in/childabuse.pdf), found that 53% of the children surveyed reported having faced sexual abuse, 21% serious sexual abuse. In the majority of cases the abuser was someone known to the child, or in a position of trust and responsibilty. Most of those abused had not reported it to anyone. With statistics like these, it is not an issue that we can afford to ignore.

How can I keep my child safe?
Parenting is challenging, and the issues are different for babies and small children than for older children who are starting to become independent. Childhood should be a carefree time and we don't want to worry our children, but we need to give them some guidelines on keeping safe. 

We tend to be concerned about our children when they are out and about but, as the majority of abusers are known to the child, we also need to consider keeping our children safe at home, school, when visiting relatives and friends or participating in other activities or using the internet. In a future article, we will look at safety issues for various situations. 

Good Communication

Good communication with your child is the key, both to listen to their concerns and so that they will listen to you when you give advice and rules on keeping safe. 

As the quote says, this needs to start when your child is young. Listening to your child, at a time when you are not rushed or distracted is important. Put down your phone, and make eye contact with your child. 

Find the best times to talk and listen, maybe at bath-time or bedtime, going to and from school, while in the car or walking together. If your child wants to talk when you are busy, assure them that you will make time as soon as possible. Ask your child about their feelings and emotional well-being. The art of listening builds trust. Your child may also have other adults, such as grandparents, who they trust and can talk to.



As difficult as it may seem, it is better to give your child some guidelines on keeping safe, rather than waiting until until you have a concern. This should be done in a way that is appropriate for your child's age and understanding. A good tip is not to treat it like a lecture, it's much better to find easy ways to have comfortable chats, little and often. Adding simple conversations into your day or routine about staying safe will help prevent your child from feeling like it's a big deal, unusual or weird.

The UK charity NSPCC has developed The Underwear, or P.A.N.T.S rule as a simple way of talking to your child without using scary words or mentioning sex. You can click on the above link for details, but in summary:-

Privates parts are private
Always remember your body belongs to you
No means no
Talk about secrets that upset you
Speak up, someone can help



In India, Enfold Proactive Health Trust, based in Bangalore, are involved in education and training to protect children from sexual abuse.

In the next blog, we will discuss signs that may raise concern and what to do if you suspect abuse or a child tells you they have been abused.